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The Film Club

21st September, 2006. 8:48 pm. THE NOT SO BLACK DAHLIA(raziel79)

The Black Dahlia
Released 2006. Starring Josh Hartnett & Scarlett Johannson.

Only really saw this film because the others wanted to see it. No, not the others from Lost. Juliet, Mel & Andrew.

I didn't know too much about this film and the situation that the film was created around, so it made the film a little more special I think.

The main characters, Josh, Scarlett and her ugly boy-friend. Josh and the ugly boy-friend are both detectives and partners.

Click here for short review and SPOILERSCollapse )

Now the story does come together at the end, but you REALLY need to think about it! You really need to think about how things all piece together.

The 4 of us come out of the cinema asking so many questions about it all!

A very short review I know, but the film is very confusing. I would not recommend seeing this film if you don't want to think about watching a film If you don't wanna think go and see the shit that is Little Man!

I give this film 5/10 because it is so hard to follow.

I thought that the acting was superb, and the atmosphere made by it was fantastic. They did something to the film that made it look old. Not the shitty lines or anything like that! Lol

PS - look out for KD Lang, Captain BUCKY O'Hare and Josh's very tasty bottom.

Current mood: thirsty.

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19th September, 2006. 1:25 pm. NOT ME BUT THE REAL QUEEN(raziel79)

The Queen
Released 2006. Starring Helen Mirren.

When I first saw this film advertised I thought that it looked shit and had no intention of seeing it. I then saw the trailer for it while watching another film and realised at that point what potential this film had.

Even the trailer showed me how well Helen Mirren had portrayed the queen.

I found the acting in this film very hard to concentrate on. I thought this because every single character, except for the queen, looked as if it belonged in a comedy sketch. It was as if all effort had gone into the queen. The rest of the characters all looked like they belonged in some sort of sketch show. Tony Blair, Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Charles etc, all needed more effort.

Once past the poor character lookalikes, the acting is superb. Helen Mirren portraying the queen is absolutely fantastic and I can't praise this enough. All other characters are well done and mannerisms and "habits" of the people they are playing are all thought off.

I'm not going to bother with a cut for the plot as we all know that Diana dies and the outcome of the situation.

This film does give what I think is a very good insight to how it would have been at Balmoral and Buckingham Palace and I think shows the queen is a very good light, even though some of her actions are self-misguided.

I give this film 7/10, I would have given it 9 but the poor lookalike of the characters is hard to overcome.

PS - Listen out for when the queen breaks down in the river!

Current mood: ditzy.

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18th September, 2006. 9:09 am. DEAD OR VERY ALIVE(raziel79)

DOA - Dead or Alive.
Released 2006. Starring Jaime Pressly, Sarah Carter, Devon Aoki & Holly Valance.

First saw parts of this film when Andrew downloaded a clip of Holly Valannce ( I hate that thing ) and was adament that I would not see that slag on the big screen.

Anyway, after hearing it was a movie adaptation from a computer I became a bit more interested in it and then saw that it had been released already without any advertisement!

Downloaded the trail and became very interested in the film so pursuaded Andrew and Mel to go and see and boy am I pleased that we did!

I did think that this film would be some sort of flesh-fest and that it would be skantily clad women. I wasn't far wrong!

The story line for the film is a little random and I did come away asking many questions about parts of the film, and how parts of it were very conveiniant. mainly the introduction. I havn't played the computer games so I am unsure as to whether the story line keeps with that or not.

The action is very good with some very impressive, but not all realistic fight scenes. My favourite fight has to be Princess Kasumi taking on the person, Leon, that supposedily killed her brother the previous year. This fight takes place in 2 different hotel rooms and sees Leon falling into a jacuzzi housing a rather nice looking naked black man!

I think if you want just mindless violence, then this isn't the film for you. It does what could be a confusing storyline which could initiate some thinking. But if you are a straight male, then you will probably house a hard-on all the way through.

For the females and gay members of the audience, there is some eye-candy in the form of Matthew Marsden and Brian J White:


Anyway, I give this film 7/10.

PS - Look out for where the cute black guy gets naked in the jacuzzi and you see his MW.

Current mood: worried.

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17th September, 2006. 5:29 pm. A NIGHT OUT IN TALLADEGA(raziel79)

Talladega Nights:The Ballard of Ricky Bobby
Released 2006. Starring Will Farrell.

Not a big fan of Will Farrell so when I first saw this film I was reluctant to go and watch it. But with hassle from friends and Andrew we went to see it the day it came out.

Now, Will Farrell takes up a role typical of him, the same sort of role we have seen him in Old School, Anchorman and all the others! The role I'm taking about is a person that never seems to take themselves seriously and always some sort of eccentric. So, in this film that hasn't changed at all.

The acting in the film is average with nothing special ever being displayed for us to see. The plot is simple but the jokes are very good!

The jokes on offer here are all tacky mainly but they do make you laugh! And the actors/actresses pull them of great!

Click for review with some spoilersCollapse )

As already mentioned, the jokes in this film are fantastic!

I give this film 7/10.

PS - Look out for the news report on the frog. Very funny!

Current mood: hot.

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13th September, 2006. 11:24 am. Right At Your Door(s32bauer)

Right At Your Door

Well, all I'll say is have your Anti-Depressants ready if your going to watch this film.
I think this is possibly the most depressing film I've seen!

I originally thought that it was a horror movie before I understood what it was about.  It's basically the story of a husband and wife who become seperated after a load of "Dirty-Bombs" explode over the city, spreading toxic fumes and meaning certain death for anyone trapped outside.

This film was watchable, it was bearable, and to be honest at a lot of points it was a really good fiml.  However....just the level of depression of this film was awful!!!  I would probably recommend people to go and watch this film, but only if your not easily depressed and have nothing better to do.


I must commend this film for the very big twist at the end.  

Initially, the husband is in the house when the bombs go off.  When he is unable to get hold of his wife he goes to look for her.  It's then announced that the fumes and ash are highly toxic and likely to kill anyone outside.  He even drives passed someone in a really nice Mercedes.  Basically they are told to stay in the car, but get out and the police end up shooting him.  So, the husband realises the extent of this.  

Anyway, he goes back home and is joined by the handyman next door.  They wait as long as they can, and then are forced to seal the house from the fumes outside.  Then a few hours later his wife comes running up the path puking everywhere, and doesn't understand why he won't let her in.

After a while of her being outside, and evading the cops, she makes some effort to get in and ends up smashing a window with her mobile phone.  They immediately reseal it, and she makes no further attempt to break in.  

Eventually the army/cops find her and drag her away.  Then.....here comes the twist.....
When the silly old bint broke the window with her mobile, some of the toxic ash obviously went in the house.  They then resealed the house.  This caused the toxin to mutate, causing an uncurable strain of whatever this stuff was.  The army guy then says calmy to the husband that he is pretty much dead, and not to struggle.  They then stick a pipe through the hole and start to fill it with gas.  They then proceed to seal up all of the doors and windows, so that basically he is trapped in the house and dies.  Normally you would expect something else to happen, a conclusion to the story.  Nope.....after this, the wife is told that she MIGHT make it, her husband is lying there dead, and the credits start rolling.


Current mood: Happy.

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9th September, 2006. 8:55 pm. A RAY OF LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE(raziel79)

Little Miss Sunshine
Released 2006. Starring Steve Carrell, Greg Kinnear, Toni Collette, Alan Arkin & Paul Dano.

Went to see this film on a bit of a whim really. Had read reviews and thought that it might be an interesting film to watch. I was not wrong.

The film is based around a family (father, mother, grandad, brother, son and daughter) all of which are completely different kinds of people. Turns out that the really ugly but sweet daughter Olive, has managed to get a place in the Little Miss Sunshine pageant in California. Now the family have actually used all their money for the father's 9 steps to success programme and they are a bit skint so they decide drive 800 miles in a VW van!

Read more...Collapse )

All in all, I thought that this film was very good and I would recommend it. Other people I went with hated the film so it does depend on you really.

The acting is fantastic aswell.

I give this film 9/10.

PS - listen out for the horn!

Current mood: blank.

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19th August, 2006. 6:32 pm. Snakes On A Plane(cheekymonkey81)

The plot of this film is pretty simple. Good guy sees bad guy kill some guy. Good cop convinces good guy to testify. Bad guy finds out. Good guy and good cop get on plane to fly to court, bad guy arranges for a lot of poisionous snake to be released on said plane, therefore hoping if a snake doesn't get the good guy, they will get enough people for the plane to crash or something....

Once you get over the fact that the chances of a bad guy ever thinking this would be the most effective way of killing a witness and just try watching the film, I think you'll enjoy it.

I normally don't like scary films and fair enough this isn't a horror film but I still found it scary, I guess because to a degree it was quite realistic and I think I was imagining what I would do if I was on a plane that suddenly filled with bite happy snakes... and to be fair I think I would scream my head off... (As I did a couple of times while watching the film!)

I won't bother to put in a LJ Cut because, lets face it, this film doesn't need explaining, you can probably work out what happens.... some people die, some don't.

I will say that the graphics are top draw, thinking about it I never once said to myself 'That snake looks fake'...

I would and have actually told people to go and see it. I think it's a perfect easy to watch, thrilling film, with funny bits included... however dog lovers be aware....


Current mood: groggy.

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3rd September, 2006. 2:39 pm. LITTLE MAN, BIG PEICE OF CRAP!(raziel79)

Little Man
Released 2006. Starring Marlon Wayans.

I expected this film to be shit before even I even saw it, and I wasn't disappointed in the slightest after seeing it.

The story in short is a midget (that isn't even a midget) steals a big diamond and plants it on a woman (we will call her idiot 1) and masquerades as a baby to get the diamond back.

The acting is shit, the jokes are crap and it seems to set racism back a few steps along the way aswell with all the blacks jibes being made by white people and setting black people as the lower human species. There is one scene long scene in the film where black people aren't recognised by height or build, but the shade of thier scene and referring it to that of coffee types, Mocha, creamy white etc.

Now, the film is just pure crap! How 2 adults, idiot 1 and idiot 2, can't seem to fatham that the baby they just found on thier doorstep isn't a baby is beyond me!

It has stubble, it has an adult sized penis, it has a tattoo, it has defined muscle! THE STUPID BLOODY IDIOTS.

There are so many things in this film that made me angry!

I'm not even going to rate this film because it was so bad, all I will say is - DO NOT SEE THIS FILM!

Current mood: annoyed.

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30th August, 2006. 1:18 pm. THE MISTRESS OF SPICY BOREDOM(raziel79)

The Mistress Of Spices
Released 2006. Starring Aishwarya Rai & Dylan McDermott.

Well one night we decided to get a DVD out. Instead of getting something that we all knew, Mel and Andrew decided that we would take a risk getting something that might make us laugh (for all the wrong reasons may I add!).

Anyway, they pursuaded me to get The Mistress Of Spices.

This movie classed itself as a romantic comedy, and the person who classed it as that must have had exactly the same taste in humour as myself. There were no jokes whatsoever in this film and the only way I found it funny was because it told a story of a lady who was convinced that spices, yes spices, could control everything.

It starts off with a young Pakistani or Indian (they all look the same) who can see into the future and a group of bandits who kill her family and kidnap her. She manages to escape and ends up on some shore somewhere with an Indian Mother Teresa type woman who is about to teach her everything she knows about spices and babbles on about some silly rules:-

i) you can't use the spices for personal gain
ii) you can never leave the spices
iii) you can never touch another persons skin

Now, the next thing we know is that the girl is now grown up and living in USA near San Francisco and running a spice shop. 

I found the film quite entertaining, but only because of the idea of the spices having so much importance in someone life as that premise is completely alien to me.

If it could be related to other things, I could imagine someone pushes the boundries of their religion and modernising the way that their religion controls their life and meeting in the middle.

I suppose that the film isn't too bad, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

I would give this film 4/10.

PS - All throughout the film there are close ups of chillis, I think that this is to portray the chilli as the devil (or Scary Spice in this case) and portray it as a seductive weapon to make people sin. If that makes any sense!

Current mood: tired.

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26th August, 2006. 12:53 pm. YOU, ME AND DUPRICK(raziel79)

You, Me and Dupree
Released 2006. Starring Owen Wilson, Kate Hudson & Matt Dillon

I wasn't overly excited about this film before we saw it. I could tell that from the trailer I would really hate the main character of the film, Dupree (played by Owen Wilson).

Anyway, it wasn't very far into the film at all, that this was confirmed and I hated the main charater.

Owen Wilson plays the annoying tosser perfectly, Matt Dillon plays the married best friend well and Kate Hudson (how pretty is she!) plays the wife not so well I thought.

The film does however have it's moments, but I found them quite rare. The jokes that were on display would be more for the taste of 18 year olds that find body sounds amusing!

Read the review - SPOILERSCollapse )

All in all, I found this film very unfunny and boring. I spent most of the film wishing that Dupree was dying a very slow and painful death!

Give it a dismal 3/10

Current mood: annoyed.

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